Alinivar and Niiue go to McDonalds
by RunTheOtherWay
Summary: This was entirely done for the CogDis Discord. Any lack of quality is noted and i dont really care


6:30 PM

The west Duluth McDonalds was quiet for once in a rare lull in the usual schedule of "overwhelmingly busy".

That would soon change with the arrival of a certain blue mook and blonde haired geeg. Alinivar and Niiue were a short walk away after landing and each had donned terrible foolproof disguises and were walking towards the restaurant with the intent to try the food.

The disguises in question involved Alinivar attempting to pass as an elderly gentleman. The idea was to pass as Niiue's grandfather. Niiue hadn't so much donned a disguise as he did just wrap his tail around his waist and attempt to pass it off as an oddly colored belt.

Naturally this was all Niiue's idea.

Alinivar was.. Less than enthusiastic about the whole thing and as the pair walked he attempted to convince his partner about how bad of an idea it was in hushed whispers.

"Niiue… are you sure this is a good idea? These disguises aren't.. really the best."

"Oh hush. Just let me do the talking and everything will be fine! I know how humans act, chances are if we just act natural they wont even care. Probably."

"Okay then.. but if this goes wrong you're responsible for dealing with the mess."

"Oh knock it off, we're two aliens with incredible psychic power. What are they going to do, _call the local law enforcement_? We can literally fight an entire squad with just a few thoughts."

"Ok but seriously, why are we even doing this?"

"It's trying new things, it's good for you. Now quiet, we're here!"

At Niiue's words the blue mook discreetly took a notepad out of one of the pockets of his disguise and attempted to start writing his last will and testament.. before realizing he had nothing to write with. Alinivar caught a glance of Niiue tossing the pen up and down before pocketing it with a smirk.

The worker currently on the counter had their attention jolted towards the strange new visitors as they walked into the store. Though caught off guard at their strange appearance, he tried not to let it catch him off guard.

"Hi, welcome to McDonalds how can i-"

The sentence was half formed before Niiue promptly took the center stage and started ordering.

"Heeey, so.. What comes with a meal, exactly? Like it's the fries and drink, right, or do I have that wrong? Help me out here… Alex, is it? Or did you like borrow someone else's shirt because thats what your name tag says so I assume..."

"Yes, that is my name and yes, you have that ri-"

"Ok good, in that case I'll take a number 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 and then just have an extra sandwich for each of them along with a 10 pack of those chicken nugget things or whatever they're called."

A bit irritated about being cut off, Alex attempted to not let it show as he dialed in each and every single item before asking;

"Any sauce with the 10 piece or-"

"Sure, but I dont really know so you just go ahead and surprise me with that- actually just throw in like 3 of each for the heck of it! So actually, is there anything else on the menu that you would recommend because I dont really eat here all that often so.."

( _ **Twenty-Five minutes of Niiue rambling later)**_

" _You just have to finish this order and then it'll be seven and you'll be free to go"_

The inner thoughts of the McDonalds employee served as a flimsy attempt to reassure himself he wasn't losing his mind. Alex had long stopped paying attention to the disguised geeg's rambling and had instead been subtly looking for a way to seriously injure himself whilst making it look like an accident so he could leave early and officially make the gargantuan order someone else's problem.

"-so anyway you got all the food right?"

"Yes. That'll be 55.67" _ **(**_ _ **nottheactualpriceijustdonthavethemmemorized)**_

Niiue merely flourished a 100 dollar bill before handing it over as dramatically as possible.

"Nick? I have a 100 over here, come help me real quick?"

The manager quickly walked over and entered his number to authorize the bill on the cash register before heading back to what he was doing, but not before saying to Niiue;

"Nice hair man! Like the hat as well"

"Finally, someone appreciates my hair! Giegue always thought it was stupid and no one else appreciates the effort I put in!"

 _ **(5 more minutes of Niiue rambling before the 2 aliens left)**_

"And that, my blue friend is why you need to just have a little faith sometimes."

"I will admit that went better than expected, but… your rambling means we bought way more food than we intended."

"Oh no, that was intentional. Now everyone can try everything we brought back to the ship! And i'll eat the leftovers anyway, just watch."

"If you say so."

Niiue wasnt lying, either. Everyone got a chance to try basically whatever they wanted. Alinivar grudgingly had to admit things had worked out well, even as he tried and failed to take even a single bite out of his own burger before giving up entirely and just setting it aside for the fries.

Colonel Saturn, on the other hand had chugged multiple sodas and was currently bouncing off the walls uncontrollably. Turns out Mr. Saturns have a bad reaction to caffeine. Who knew. Larice had been satisfied with relatively little food for his size; perhaps something to do with the Starman conversion process. Niiue on the other hand had practically inhaled around a third of the food and had stopped only to let the others get a chance at eating.

"Well, at least nothing was at risk this time. No universe to save, just.. going and getting food. Actually it was.. nice."

As for Alex? He was currently sitting at home contemplating the possibility of hanging one's self with a headphone cord out of a sense of remorse for writing this stupid story jesus fucking christ help me

 _ **(thisisashitpostkidsdontdoshitpostsinbackalleys)**_


End file.
